The Guide to Being Social

Hopefully by this point you’ve figured out how to Put Things In Your Mouth, Find Your Way Around the World, and maybe even Get Your Shit Together. That stuff is all great for the Only Man, but it’s simply not enough for today’s Gentle Man…

That’s right, like everyone else on the planet, you feel the urge for companionship. (it could also be the urge to get a rad tattoo, it’s hard to tell the difference so to be safe go get one right now).

We’ll wait. Did you choose something tribal, or maybe barbed-wire-esque? You’re at the wrong website, bruh.

For those of you still here that just need a few stepping stones towards becoming more familiar and connected with your Fellow Travelers To The Grave, the Gentleman’s B.E.A.R.D. Guide to Being Social is your bulletproof companion for the next 19,846 Saturday Nights (on average).


Cubicle Decor 101

Cubicle Decor 101

The Cubicle. The cramped, woefully non-soundproof bane of every entry-level office workers existence. If you’re Neo, your cubicle is just a launching point into being the hero of the Matrix. If you’re the rest of us, your cubicle is a soul-sapping abyss from which you...

How to Break the Ice

How to Break the Ice

#3. “Have you ever seen a foot with four toes?” All eyes are on you now! This one also serves as a great excuse for taking off your shoes in uncomfortably warm social situations, like sitting in a hot tub. We don’t recommend you use this line unless you are missing a toe, otherwise people will learn to distrust you.

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