Remember that Thanksgiving everyone had a great time debating political issues? Or that time you argued so well that your uncle admitted that he was wrong and went online to change his political affiliation on Facebook?
You shouldn’t remember that, because it never happened. Politics and Thanksgiving represent two distinctly different value systems, and they should not be mixed. So avoid the political drama this Thanksgiving…there are better times to address those issues.
Easier said than done, right? Maybe. But avoiding problems is something we at the Gentlemen’s Guide LOVE, so lets talk about some ways you can avoid political drama at your Thanksgiving dinner:
1) Find someone you agree with and discuss with them quietly, privately.
You were gonna do this anyway after the dust settled from that super productive Second Amendment debate with your uncle. Skip the arguments and just chat with someone who already agrees with you. Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks and reflect on what you have, not the time to try to change minds.
2) Start a food fight.
Nothing is more distracting than lobbing a 2lb turkey leg across the room and watching as it sprays gravy all over everyone’s nice sweaters. Many noted fake historians cite this tactic as being used by Winston Churchill during later Allies Powers meetings whenever Stalin began getting all mass murder-y. Really lightened the mood.
3) Talk sports. Get mad about sports instead.
The ancient Romans knew what was up: distract the masses with sports.
4) Be interesting and well rounded enough where you don’t need to rely on politics to fuel your conversation.
Come to the table ready with some stories about your life, some funny jokes you’ve heard, or, even better, some insightful questions you can ask your family members. Protip: ACTUALLY care about these conversations, don’t just phone it in.
5) Just smile and nod.
They already made up their mind. If you have moral qualms about being silent in the face of adversity and standing up for what you believe in…try the next piece of advice.
6) BE RESPECTFUL, STUPID!
Whether you like it or not, whether you married into this family or were born into it, this is your family. Even if you don’t accept them as family, they are still your neighbors, your community, your fellow Americans. Give them some respect and patience, even if you don’t get it from them.
7) “Let’s not talk about this here, ok?”
Remind people that this is not the time to talk politics. Make them feel a little guilty about being that guy/girl/gender neutral person. Inversely, demand to “take it outside and settle this like juveniles”!
8) Talk about religion.
Will still cause less fallout than politics. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
We GUARANTEE that if you follow this advice, you will have a drama free Thanksgiving. Well, free of political drama. That stuff with your cousin and the penguin exhibit at the zoo…nobody can stop that drama.