We are two weeks out from the holiday that allows us to, for a day, live out our deepest fantasies of who we ought to be. As such, if you’re like me, you are now realizing that another year of pondering your elaborate costume has passed, and now you have no time to make it happen. Le sigh. However, there is still hope. Halloween parties are as notorious as their Christmas counterparts when it comes to drinking. With a bit of liquid courage, you can be whoever you want to be, whether you’re dressed the part or not. With one of the most involved Hallo-days of the year approaching, we’ve decided to put together a list of cocktails to make any holiday party a real scare. However you want to take that.
1: The Bloody Mary.
It’s in the name, folks. This popular morning beverage, inspired by the mirror ghost that most of us summoned as children, is as in-demand as its titular urban legend. A simple blend of vodka, tomato juice, and various spices is as adaptable as beverages come. Most store-bought Bloody Mary mixes are quite delicious and allow a great degree of variability. Often noted for its spice, Worcestershire and horseradish sauces are now common ingredients, while modern variations include sriracha. the moral of the story is that the spicier you make it, the better it is. Vodka not your speed? Substitute with tequila and voila, a Bloody Maria.
Basic recipe: 1-1.5 oz. vodka, fill with Bloody Mary mix, add spices and sauces to taste. Garnish with celery or a pickle. Or a cheeseburger. Or whatever. This is America, after all.
2: The Black Cat.
A witch’s best friend. The Black Cat has been a symbol of bad luck and spookiness since the old days. Way back to Salem, ignorant pilgrims often associated those felines with the magic and sorcery and “evil” those witches portrayed. Black cats were often killed with the same extreme prejudice that “witches” were. That said, someone decided to name a drink after them. If you’re looking for a bewitched good night, then this is the drink for you. Especially if you like coffee. A strongly flavored liqueur, topped with soda and a lemon wedge allows for a unique (trust me) flavor that will make your halloween spells a bit more believable, at least to you. If you’re looking for a more seasonal kick, throw in a half measure of pumpkin spice liqueur and you’re jake.
Basic recipe: 1-1.5 oz. Kahlua over ice. Fill with coke, lemon wedge garnish.
3: The Dead Nazi.
A horror story in and of themselves, Nazis are widely and timelessly regarded as some of the most evil beings to ever walk this earth. Those of us who are Call of Duty players will note the impact the Nazi Zombie series has had on our gameplay. The evil and suavity of the Nazi regime has been converted to a beverage, and it’s as devious as the bastards that inspired it. Take note, this is a shot, and from experience, it’s one that you should treat with the same apprehension you’d treat an actual dead Nazi with. There are few variations on this drink; it’s as horrifying as its name suggests, and that is more than enough.
Recipe: Half measure Jaegermeister, half measure Rumplemintz. Shake over ice and distribute.
The drinks listed above are all fairly simple recipes. We focus on class with ease: Work smarter, not harder. If you’re willing to try your hand at something a little more challenging, then these Honorable Mentions are for you.
- The alien brain hemorrhage. As horrific as this sounds, trust me. It looks worse than it tastes. ¾ measure of peach schnapps, topped with ¼ measure of Bailey’s on top. Allow it to steep for just a few minutes. Once steeped, add a splash of Blue Curacao. Again, allow a few seconds. When that’s done, spit (not literally, sicko) a few drops of grenadine on top. Again, allow a bit before serving. What you’ll end up with will look disgusting, but it will be delicious. Trust us.
- The Bloody Arthur. This particular beverage, while not objectively complicated, takes a certain level of stomach to even contemplate making. 1.5 oz. of Bloody Mary mix topped with a pint of Guinness. I know, right? It’s a stretch, but I have it on good authority that it’s surprisingly palatable.
These are just the beginning – there are dozens of Halloween drinks out there. Whether by flavor or appearance, Halloween is a holiday that indulges almost any alcoholic desire. The spirit of the season, ultimately, is to enjoy yourself, inside and out. Craft an amazing costume, mix an amazing cocktail, and leave an amazing impression (on others). Hopefully we’ve given you a few tools to do that. As always, a gentleman enjoys responsibly. And he never drinks and drives. Cheers!