How to Break the Ice

by | Aug 30, 2016 | Being Interesting, Being Social, Relationships | 0 comments

Meeting people and dismantling frozen obstacles can be unnerving, and, despite our best efforts, we can’t always avoid these daunting challenges. Luckily, overcoming your fears is easy when you have the right tools. Here are the top 10 ice breakers we at the Gentleman’s Guide like to use.

#1. “Did you see the local sportsball game yesterday night? Those refs were bad and the players should have played better.” Your ironic take on this classic conversation starter is sure to elicit a pity laugh at least 90% of 10 out of 100 times. Not bad. Not bad at all.

#2. Ice Pick. Despite their most popular use being that of a prison shank, these bad boys are great for chiseling blocks of ice to the size and shape required by your modern ice box.

#3. Have you ever seen a foot with four toes? All eyes are on you now! This one also serves as a great excuse for taking off your shoes in uncomfortably warm social situations, like sitting in a hot tub. We don’t recommend you use this line unless you are missing a toe, otherwise people will learn to distrust you.

#4. Ice axe. Hacking out a horizontal surface on which to place your foot during the ascent of an icy incline is preferable, in some cases, to trusting a sloping surface with a high grade.

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#5. “If you had to pick, which piece of kitchenware would you LEAST like to be murdered with?” The absurdity of this question is sure to take your new friend aback, but you’ll learn a lot about them as they open up about their greatest cheese grater-related fears. Plus, if they didn’t run away from you upon first asking the question, they probably are as trusting or desperate as you are.

#6. USCGC- Polar Star. Commissioned in 1976, this 399 foot son-of-a-gun can still cut through sheets of ice six feet thick at speeds of up to 3.5 miles per hour! Eat your heart out, Boaty McBoatface!

#7. “If George Bush Sr. were still alive, what would you most like to ask him?” They will likely inform you that George Bush Sr. is still alive, to which you can respond, “Oh really? I don’t really pay attention to politics.” Nice one! People don’t like talking politics.

#8. Can of Axe‘s most intoxicating and, coincidentally, flammable body spray and a lighter. Now this is less of an icebreaker than it is an ice-melter. Nevertheless, it could undoubtedly clear all of the icy snow, off one’s windshield in a matter of seconds.

#9. “I love Disney’s interpretation of Mulan! It’s just a great movie, and talking about it can easily lead down many different unique paths of conversation, including Eddie Murphy impersonations, women’s rights during the Qing Dynasty, and debating the plausibility of the scene where she shoots that rocket thing at the glacier and buries the Mongol horde.

#10. That rocket thing from Mulan. As far as sheer destruction and breakage of massive quantities of ice goes, that rocket thing that Mulan shoots at the glacier and buries the Mongol horde with takes the cake. Give it a go only on your Mongoliest of challenges.

You are now equipped to handle whatever your town’s night life or an arctic voyage throws at you. Use this knowledge wisely, lest the ice break you…

 

Cover photo courtesy of Matt McDaniel.

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